I'm just gonna put myself on blast for a moment: I'm a bit of a hoverer when it comes to my kids. It's not their fault, really. It's mine. When I was a teenager I lied, I snuck, I was in all types of inappropriate situations and I almost never got caught or questioned. To make matters worse, there were many times when adults involved with my shenanigans. I can't even begin to describe the psychological repercussions I live with.
Unfortunately for my kids, those experiences have shaped me into a hyper-vigilant parent: I need to know where they're going, who they're going with and what time they'll be back. Oh, and if I don't know the parents, they're not going PERIOD. If I don't know the parents well (this mostly applies to my little guy) he can't be in that person's presence without me or my husband. For the teenager, I'm following his twitter, his Instagram, and you best believe I'm his friend on Facebook. These are non-negotiable.
Some will think this is overkill and you're certainly entitled to your opinion (*I am monitoring your thought patterns and making a note to never leave my kids alone with you). I know that they could still lie, make fake profiles, etc., but they know where I stand. They know that I take these measures because I care about their well-being. We've talked about my past and they know that I take their physical and mental safety very seriously. Until they can be responsible for themselves, I need to set boundaries and identify dangers.
This goes for kids I didn't give birth to as well. I am blessed to have relationships with many teens in the area and, consequently, access to their social media personas. It breaks my heart when I check my Instagram or Facebook and see suggestive/provocative pictures of young ladies. And the guys aren't off the hook; their offenses tend toward foul or misogynistic memes. It's a sad situation all around. They are exposing and/or exploiting themselves and perpetuating this behavior in front of their peers; slowly desensitizing themselves and those who see the images (to include adults). Because these aren't my children, I tread lightly, but still voice my concern when they're out of line. Sometimes, I notice that my comments get deleted. Other times, I flat out get blocked. So be it. My desire to be a child's "friend" doesn't overrule my obligation to nurture, teach, and protect them.
And I expect the same sense of responsibility from my friends. If you see my kids making poor choices, online or in person, please don't hesitate to let them know. Let me and my husband know as well, so we can reenforce our guidelines. I want them to feel the ever-present eyes of the community. I want them to understand that there are always consequences for our actions. I'd much rather them end up with my temporary discipline than some life-long mental torment stemming from years of loose reins. My Father set the example. He taught me to chasten those I love and to direct their path. So until He tells me otherwise, I'm watching them like my initials are NSA.
