My teenager is growing up. With every sunrise I feel I have less and less time to hold him close and to guide him.
He's nearing the end of his junior year in high school and making progressively more decisions on his own. Though I offer suggestions, there are several areas of his life in which he has the final say. One of those areas is school. I let him pick his own classes, both academic and elective, as well extracurricular activities.
I'll admit, I wasn't heartbroken when he told me that he doesn't want to play football next year. With my allergies, the idea of sitting outside while the ragweed is at its highest has never been my favorite thing. Nor has the idea of having my child be subjected to a screaming, belittling, cursing coach, which is the rumored modus operandi of the head coach (and a few spectating parents). I enjoyed watching him play, but I can say goodbye to sitting in the stands with great ease.
What did prick my heart, however, was his decision to make this year his last year in band. If you haven't noticed, I LOVE music; and I especially love to hear my children make music! How could he quit band with just one more year of high school? Why not just finish strong? You know, continue play in college; maybe form a family band in a couple of years; no pressure.
I guess because part of growing up is making choices. As a man, he'll need to analyze a situation and weigh the benefits and/or consequences. Apparently the benefit of free time outweighs the joy of knowing your mother is in the audience tapping her feet, shushing your brother, and humming contently with the band, but I'm not bitter.
The boy is becoming a man. He won't always make the choices I suggest he makes, but he will ALWAYS have my love. In the mean time, I'll take with me the memories, to be my sunshine after the rain... It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
(Video from yesterday's concert; his final band performance)
